Scene 1:
Artists:Ravi Kiran,Some guy in a brown shirt
Place of Action:Fabindia,Besant nagar
Time:2:30 PM
(Ravi kiran is browsing through some shirts which might impress his imaginary girlfriend)
Some guy in brown shirt:Could you tell me where i could find kurthas..
Ravikiran:Oh...I dont work here..im a customer...
(Both smile sheepishly and walk away)
Scene 2:
Artists:Ravikiran,Some guy in a brown shirt
Place of Action:Globus,T.Nagar
Time:5:30
(Ravikiran is sifting through some lingerie for his imaginary girlfriend and this time he is holding his all new Nokia mobile and working with it)
Some guy in a brown shirt:Excuse me,Where is the Ladies salwar section?
Ravikiran(Turns and proudly flaunts his mobile):Why do u think i would know that?
SGBS:Oh..dont u work here,im sorry...
Ravikiran:Hey..Wait a minute...
(but before he can ask him anything he gets lost in the crowd)
Back home after a long shopping spree in which he buys a brown coloured vest,he thinks...What was common between the two scenes above
NO IT WASN'T THE GUY IN A BROWN SHIRT!!!!
It was the fact that people thought i was an "attender" at the respective shops.Now,What is so fundamentally cheap about me???I start an intensive introspection...My hair-Its a lil rugged alright but there is nothing unkempt abt it that smacks of stupidity or cheapness..in fact i(alone) think there is something elegant abt my hair,raising hairline notwithstanding.
My dressing sense-Okay,I like to experiment with colours and not exactly a fan of big labels,but that doesn't mean my dresses are ersatz.So what if i wear Orange coloured jeans,i atleast draw attention.My Mobile-Nokia does not produce Eau-de-cologne,it produces perfume of the highest order.
So to sum up,(Huh?),there is nothing "CHEAP" about me.Its only that i was having a bad day and on that particular day things got a little out of hand..That is all.
Boy!!What a waste of cyberspace this post is!!!They sure are right in banning blogs..such an insult to one's intelligence.
Anyway,
bye for now,
Do Return(YA RIGHT!!!)
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Monday, June 12, 2006
ONE LOVE!!
I knew it...She was dying on me!!!..for the past few days she had been acting strange,but she would never tell me anything.She had always been a loner.I was the only one who had managed to break through her hard exterior..but she was so sweet..Give and Ye Shall receive from her...but now i seemed to be losing her.There was no mistaking it.Initially i thought she must be just sick or something but as time went by,i found out that there was something seriously wrong about her.Having left her to the pros,i now decided it was time for some introspection.
Well,it all started almost an year back.Wish i had remembered the exact day.That was it.Maybe i had never bothered to do more abt our relationship.i never bothered to know more about her.She was there for me to see,and i had ignored her..Stupid me..If only i had worked more on our relationship..If i could just have a time turner..Oh!!How i wish..
She was such a great person to be with.She was always ready for any movie..just about ANY goddamn movie.no preferences.She actually watched some utter crap with me and told me she liked them just because i was around...HECK!!!She was even game for porn movies..She was the best!!!
She was absolutely brilliant with everyone..A true social animal..The way she used to flirt with my bro used to make me jealous,but she always knew how to make me feel good...She is making me feel pathetic with every passing second..
But Wait a minute..the pro to whom i had entrusted her is telling me that she might make a recovery and whats more it could well be a full recovery..my joy knows no bounds..Im on cloud nine..im just not losing to him anymore..She will be all mine and i swear ill take great care of her next time around..
Just then he gives me a word of caution.."dont over work her..all night long is fine but do give her some rest..afterall you invested 50,000 on her and u dont want to spend more on her..right?"..but im not listening..my love,my only love,my COMPUTER is back and roaring and this time there is gonna be no overworking her...you will have your share of rest baby..and she roars back in approval by booting properly after a long time!!!!
Well,it all started almost an year back.Wish i had remembered the exact day.That was it.Maybe i had never bothered to do more abt our relationship.i never bothered to know more about her.She was there for me to see,and i had ignored her..Stupid me..If only i had worked more on our relationship..If i could just have a time turner..Oh!!How i wish..
She was such a great person to be with.She was always ready for any movie..just about ANY goddamn movie.no preferences.She actually watched some utter crap with me and told me she liked them just because i was around...HECK!!!She was even game for porn movies..She was the best!!!
She was absolutely brilliant with everyone..A true social animal..The way she used to flirt with my bro used to make me jealous,but she always knew how to make me feel good...She is making me feel pathetic with every passing second..
But Wait a minute..the pro to whom i had entrusted her is telling me that she might make a recovery and whats more it could well be a full recovery..my joy knows no bounds..Im on cloud nine..im just not losing to him anymore..She will be all mine and i swear ill take great care of her next time around..
Just then he gives me a word of caution.."dont over work her..all night long is fine but do give her some rest..afterall you invested 50,000 on her and u dont want to spend more on her..right?"..but im not listening..my love,my only love,my COMPUTER is back and roaring and this time there is gonna be no overworking her...you will have your share of rest baby..and she roars back in approval by booting properly after a long time!!!!
Friday, May 05, 2006
I spent 30 minutes trying to come up with an intro for the most important blog but decided im not that gifted and so i have decided to just hit the nail in the head with a sledgehammer
I AM HALF A POLITICIAN,LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.No i dont mean i have been promising my mom that i would do all the domestic work or promising myself that i would get a girlfriend by this weekend..I just have indeed become a half-politician.
I campaigned for Lok Paritran..the new hope that has been forged by the elite of India.For the uninitiated, this is the party that everyone around you has been talking about,started by IITians.I was intrigued(read clueless) by their ideology but the fact that the very people who have been accused of not giving back anything to the society have decided to take things into their hands with regards to running this country is indeed refreshing.with this thought i decided to give them more than just my vote..
Inspired by a friend,who called me in the evening to ask me if i were interested in campaigning for LP,i decided to give it a go.i joined him in distributing pamphlets around my "constituency".What was interesting was the response of some of the oldies.."evalukkellam vera velaye illa...sayangaalam aana vandhuda vendiyadhu.."(rough translation:what the **** are doing in my place...being a very conservative locality ppl dont swear in your face..they swear at your back).But jokes apart,the response from the general public was very impressive.I got the impression that the people were disillusioned by the current lot of charlatans-calling- themselves-politicians and completely angry that they were being treated like this.
Some of the political parties' manifesto may be mistaken for a list written by a overly
expectant kid on the eve of christmas,But these people had promises that might actually work.Just reading the manifesto you could understand that they know their limitations and are not trying to fool the masses.When we were half way through with the distribution thing,the candidate called my friend that they had arranged a surprise rally kinda stuff and that we could come if we wanted.
It was a bike rally with around 10 people.we went around the place holding placards with the candidate leading the front.It was quite adventurous to see people waving hands at you(yes,indeed!!!people did wave at me!!).The most heartening fact was that whenever we stopped someone would come over,congratulate the candidate,and they were not just students.In fact,a 40-something gentleman actually offered to campaign for LP giving us his phone number and that he would be free after 6 in the evening.Thats when i really got some
semblance of a hope that this party may just work.
They sure have a long way to go and i plainly dont see them taking roots in some rather
important states of the country in the next decade or so,but everything good has to have a beginning and i am definitely happy that they are starting off from my city.
I would just like end this with what my candidate,Aravind seshagiri,replied to one curious
passerby:
You dont really stand a chance in this place.
i know i dont stand a chance here,sir.But the person who is winning here will know that there are people here who are ready to really work for the constituency and that non-performance will definitely not be tolerated.If He/she wants to win the next time, he has to perform.period.that is always a good sign,isn't it?
I AM HALF A POLITICIAN,LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.No i dont mean i have been promising my mom that i would do all the domestic work or promising myself that i would get a girlfriend by this weekend..I just have indeed become a half-politician.
I campaigned for Lok Paritran..the new hope that has been forged by the elite of India.For the uninitiated, this is the party that everyone around you has been talking about,started by IITians.I was intrigued(read clueless) by their ideology but the fact that the very people who have been accused of not giving back anything to the society have decided to take things into their hands with regards to running this country is indeed refreshing.with this thought i decided to give them more than just my vote..
Inspired by a friend,who called me in the evening to ask me if i were interested in campaigning for LP,i decided to give it a go.i joined him in distributing pamphlets around my "constituency".What was interesting was the response of some of the oldies.."evalukkellam vera velaye illa...sayangaalam aana vandhuda vendiyadhu.."(rough translation:what the **** are doing in my place...being a very conservative locality ppl dont swear in your face..they swear at your back).But jokes apart,the response from the general public was very impressive.I got the impression that the people were disillusioned by the current lot of charlatans-calling- themselves-politicians and completely angry that they were being treated like this.
Some of the political parties' manifesto may be mistaken for a list written by a overly
expectant kid on the eve of christmas,But these people had promises that might actually work.Just reading the manifesto you could understand that they know their limitations and are not trying to fool the masses.When we were half way through with the distribution thing,the candidate called my friend that they had arranged a surprise rally kinda stuff and that we could come if we wanted.
It was a bike rally with around 10 people.we went around the place holding placards with the candidate leading the front.It was quite adventurous to see people waving hands at you(yes,indeed!!!people did wave at me!!).The most heartening fact was that whenever we stopped someone would come over,congratulate the candidate,and they were not just students.In fact,a 40-something gentleman actually offered to campaign for LP giving us his phone number and that he would be free after 6 in the evening.Thats when i really got some
semblance of a hope that this party may just work.
They sure have a long way to go and i plainly dont see them taking roots in some rather
important states of the country in the next decade or so,but everything good has to have a beginning and i am definitely happy that they are starting off from my city.
I would just like end this with what my candidate,Aravind seshagiri,replied to one curious
passerby:
You dont really stand a chance in this place.
i know i dont stand a chance here,sir.But the person who is winning here will know that there are people here who are ready to really work for the constituency and that non-performance will definitely not be tolerated.If He/she wants to win the next time, he has to perform.period.that is always a good sign,isn't it?
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Bullshit works!!
A Few months back i decided to test one of my professor's intellect.Although there are some time and tested methods of doing this,i took the safe route...i wrote crap in my paper and was expecting to get blasted.But LO behold!!Not even an admonition.Worse,i scored 3 on 5 marks for that particular question.
Emboldened by her apparent lack of attention while evaluating my papers,i decided to take it to a further level.This time i shall target more questions and atleast get a special mention.Guess what happens??I happen to be the topper this time round!!!As my attempts have been insanely useful and,not to mention,quite popular too,I plan to help some of the poor earthling engineers by giving some valuable advice on how to write those utterly irritating and greek-and-latin tests.
RULE 1:When you plan to write bullshit,make sure the first line is technical.Because the attention span of a pea-brained lecturer is generally abysmally low.Sample this,
What are Ghost images?How can they be overcome?
Ghost images occur due to the lack of synchronisation between the frame and line deflection circuits.(i have absolutely no idea what this means).They have been found to occur while watching utterly scary movies,because your mind starts playing games.You are affected subliminally(note:you can also practice some GRE words here) and you start conjuring up GHOST IMAGES.They can be best overcome by not watching such movies.Or
else you might have to go to a shrink.
RULE 2:It also helps to end your answer with some techie stuff.
What is a turnstile array?
Turnstile array is nothing but an array consisting of a single tile that turns.you can see that it is a misnomer.it should have actually been "turningtile" since there is just one tile,but these engineers have no sense basically.they happily screw around with names making life difficult for those around them(that helped!!!).I guess,it is an antenna.
The last line was supposedly technical.i actually got full marks for that question
RULE 3:Try writing answers that tantalisingly make sense
What is adjacent channel interference?How can it be overcome?
Adjacent channel interference refers to the interference from a neighbouring channel.It is an
eavesdropper's paradise.It can be overcome by keeping the 2 adjacent channels as far apart as possible or else asking nosy people to just let it quit.
These are just time and tested rules which have been repeated for the convenience of some readers.Hope these help.And as a bonus,i shall also include one other answer that i wrote where "flashes of genius" can be seen.
What is persistence of vision?
When an image exists for one-sixteenth of a second after it is lost,it is called persistence of
vision.Whereas if it lasts for a lifetime,it maybe called a nightmare!!!
Emboldened by her apparent lack of attention while evaluating my papers,i decided to take it to a further level.This time i shall target more questions and atleast get a special mention.Guess what happens??I happen to be the topper this time round!!!As my attempts have been insanely useful and,not to mention,quite popular too,I plan to help some of the poor earthling engineers by giving some valuable advice on how to write those utterly irritating and greek-and-latin tests.
RULE 1:When you plan to write bullshit,make sure the first line is technical.Because the attention span of a pea-brained lecturer is generally abysmally low.Sample this,
What are Ghost images?How can they be overcome?
Ghost images occur due to the lack of synchronisation between the frame and line deflection circuits.(i have absolutely no idea what this means).They have been found to occur while watching utterly scary movies,because your mind starts playing games.You are affected subliminally(note:you can also practice some GRE words here) and you start conjuring up GHOST IMAGES.They can be best overcome by not watching such movies.Or
else you might have to go to a shrink.
RULE 2:It also helps to end your answer with some techie stuff.
What is a turnstile array?
Turnstile array is nothing but an array consisting of a single tile that turns.you can see that it is a misnomer.it should have actually been "turningtile" since there is just one tile,but these engineers have no sense basically.they happily screw around with names making life difficult for those around them(that helped!!!).I guess,it is an antenna.
The last line was supposedly technical.i actually got full marks for that question
RULE 3:Try writing answers that tantalisingly make sense
What is adjacent channel interference?How can it be overcome?
Adjacent channel interference refers to the interference from a neighbouring channel.It is an
eavesdropper's paradise.It can be overcome by keeping the 2 adjacent channels as far apart as possible or else asking nosy people to just let it quit.
These are just time and tested rules which have been repeated for the convenience of some readers.Hope these help.And as a bonus,i shall also include one other answer that i wrote where "flashes of genius" can be seen.
What is persistence of vision?
When an image exists for one-sixteenth of a second after it is lost,it is called persistence of
vision.Whereas if it lasts for a lifetime,it maybe called a nightmare!!!
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
BE THE MIRACLE!!!!
YAY!!!..YIPPEE!!!...Me has been tagged.i have been asked to write on something(its a heady feeling you know).This time the matter is quite serious,RDB inspired.Since i have become a great fan of the movie(i have actually planned to buy the movie,will be the first ever for me!!),I have planned to write.Bravo to Sudhish for starting this thread...your movie reviews rock!!
What do i do to be the change--unconditionally?
I plan to write more generally...
1.I shall no more be a hypocrite.I shall not come up with a patriotic anecdote to my friends about how my blood boiled when someone in the RTO office bribed the brake inspector to get the license and then go to the same inspector with a sheepish grin to get my license..I shall be honest.
2.I shall be much more involved in knowing about the politics of my country.A lesson i learned from RDB.We carp about how the country is going to the dogs,but what are we doing about it?What do we know about our country?How many of us care to know?Well,I plan to know something about the politics of my country everyday...An encouraging sign in this front is the party started by IITians,atlast some of the best minds of the country are trying to take the country forward..way to go!!
Pardon me for sounding so bombastic(I plan to write some dialogues for a CAPTAIN padam),I have always been the Big picture guy...Now onto some smaller things
3.One of the very basic things which im sure everyone who has been tagged would have probably included in his list is to stop littering.At the risk of sounding cliched,cleanliness is next only to godliness(sometimes banality gets the point across better than grandiloquence)
4.I shall be a much more tolerant Human being.I shall not let my heart rule me.This may not sound like its got anything to do with the thread but seeing the kind of riots around the country by zealots in the name of religion,I do feel We can be a little more tolerant,not apathetic,but tolerant.
5.I shall be proud to be an Indian.Not many of us feel that way.Make no mistakes,I dont mean to be a jingoist,just a patriot.
Being a neophyte to the blogosphere,I dont have anyone to tag.
What do i do to be the change--unconditionally?
I plan to write more generally...
1.I shall no more be a hypocrite.I shall not come up with a patriotic anecdote to my friends about how my blood boiled when someone in the RTO office bribed the brake inspector to get the license and then go to the same inspector with a sheepish grin to get my license..I shall be honest.
2.I shall be much more involved in knowing about the politics of my country.A lesson i learned from RDB.We carp about how the country is going to the dogs,but what are we doing about it?What do we know about our country?How many of us care to know?Well,I plan to know something about the politics of my country everyday...An encouraging sign in this front is the party started by IITians,atlast some of the best minds of the country are trying to take the country forward..way to go!!
Pardon me for sounding so bombastic(I plan to write some dialogues for a CAPTAIN padam),I have always been the Big picture guy...Now onto some smaller things
3.One of the very basic things which im sure everyone who has been tagged would have probably included in his list is to stop littering.At the risk of sounding cliched,cleanliness is next only to godliness(sometimes banality gets the point across better than grandiloquence)
4.I shall be a much more tolerant Human being.I shall not let my heart rule me.This may not sound like its got anything to do with the thread but seeing the kind of riots around the country by zealots in the name of religion,I do feel We can be a little more tolerant,not apathetic,but tolerant.
5.I shall be proud to be an Indian.Not many of us feel that way.Make no mistakes,I dont mean to be a jingoist,just a patriot.
Being a neophyte to the blogosphere,I dont have anyone to tag.
P.S.:It does feel wicked to include some absolutely clueless but pompous words in your writing..thanks to GRE
Saturday, February 25, 2006
EXTREME GAMERS VS KOOTHU PATRAI!!!
After an increasingly long time(about an year to be precise) spent dreaming about winning a cricket match out of my sheer talent and getting frustrated with absolutely inane siddhuisms,I actually got a chance to get some on-field action...Yes!!!I got to play cricket...
Well,there is this rather exciting,albeit stupidly titled,tournament called lagaan cup where a lot of people in my college come up with ridiculous team names(22 balls,Xtreme gamers,koothu patrai and so on so forth..) and some people play great cricket.And what's more,we use tennis ball and not the conventional cricket ball where you live in the constant fear of being a hit by a speeding ball directed towards you by some jealous batsman.This is the place where you can try some of the shots that Dhoni plays at your own physical risk(to be precise,you run the risk of injuring your wrists,arms,legs,head,eyes,knee...)
Coming to the actual match we were pitted against a rather easy team to beat who were best known for their innovative profanities and one particular shahrukh clone(wrong place dude,we need Aamir here).Really mediocre bowling attack and not a great batting line up to talk about,it should have been a routine day in the park for us,but Boy!! did we mess it up!!
We won the toss and as expected elected to bat(I'm used to this expression used by commentators everywhere,no one was expecting us to bat or bowl.The crowd there comprised of 11 members from each team).After a promising start,we lost our way and got to 71 off 10 overs.Good by any standards,but considering the fact that you are playing with a tennis ball and that the ground was about 1/10th the size of the smallest ground in Bangladesh,we knew we were goners.
They started off pretty well,actually,we let them start off well .The first over cost us 16 runs.We knew we were fighting a lost cause.Fielding did not help our cause either.We were not just giving them gifts,we were also giving them our credit card numbers!With everyone having an opinion and every opinion acknowledged,none actually worked and before we knew it was all over.
Well the boys played badly,it was just an off day(I MISS DADA).but the point is it feels good to know that i have some active muscles in my body and they do tend to get flexed every now and then.Good to know that i have aching muscles i never even knew existed..
And btw,yours truly did not make golden duck but got out off the second ball and gave away the winning runs!!!!
Well,there is this rather exciting,albeit stupidly titled,tournament called lagaan cup where a lot of people in my college come up with ridiculous team names(22 balls,Xtreme gamers,koothu patrai and so on so forth..) and some people play great cricket.And what's more,we use tennis ball and not the conventional cricket ball where you live in the constant fear of being a hit by a speeding ball directed towards you by some jealous batsman.This is the place where you can try some of the shots that Dhoni plays at your own physical risk(to be precise,you run the risk of injuring your wrists,arms,legs,head,eyes,knee...)
Coming to the actual match we were pitted against a rather easy team to beat who were best known for their innovative profanities and one particular shahrukh clone(wrong place dude,we need Aamir here).Really mediocre bowling attack and not a great batting line up to talk about,it should have been a routine day in the park for us,but Boy!! did we mess it up!!
We won the toss and as expected elected to bat(I'm used to this expression used by commentators everywhere,no one was expecting us to bat or bowl.The crowd there comprised of 11 members from each team).After a promising start,we lost our way and got to 71 off 10 overs.Good by any standards,but considering the fact that you are playing with a tennis ball and that the ground was about 1/10th the size of the smallest ground in Bangladesh,we knew we were goners.
They started off pretty well,actually,we let them start off well .The first over cost us 16 runs.We knew we were fighting a lost cause.Fielding did not help our cause either.We were not just giving them gifts,we were also giving them our credit card numbers!With everyone having an opinion and every opinion acknowledged,none actually worked and before we knew it was all over.
Well the boys played badly,it was just an off day(I MISS DADA).but the point is it feels good to know that i have some active muscles in my body and they do tend to get flexed every now and then.Good to know that i have aching muscles i never even knew existed..
And btw,yours truly did not make golden duck but got out off the second ball and gave away the winning runs!!!!
Thursday, February 23, 2006
taking the plunge
Hi
I HATE BLOGS!!!..I had to spend a really long time to come up with a name in which i could have plainly done lot more important things,so imagine the time it would have taken for me to write this bullshit!!I HATE THIS!!!..i mean why is it that i feel it absolutely necessary to write a blog even though i have absolutely no idea what im gonna write about.Is it because i wanna flaunt my ignorance?No,i have better ways of doing that like writing my college exams.Why is it that even after 3 fiascos at writing a blog i still feel compelled to write another one?
If you r expecting any answers for these rather pertinent questions,U AINT GONNA GET ANYTHING!!!I am here because half the people i know r writing blogs and i think i can do better than most of them.
I am basically a very pleasant guy you know with the usual tantrums of a very normal guy with mood swings at mega hertz rate(im also a geek).
You can expect a bit of Bill watterson and Ambrose Bierce in my blogs(I am a little ambitious).
keep coming here and do appreciate my blogs.Ill try to keep these updated cos i am as jobless as you are
I HATE BLOGS!!!..I had to spend a really long time to come up with a name in which i could have plainly done lot more important things,so imagine the time it would have taken for me to write this bullshit!!I HATE THIS!!!..i mean why is it that i feel it absolutely necessary to write a blog even though i have absolutely no idea what im gonna write about.Is it because i wanna flaunt my ignorance?No,i have better ways of doing that like writing my college exams.Why is it that even after 3 fiascos at writing a blog i still feel compelled to write another one?
If you r expecting any answers for these rather pertinent questions,U AINT GONNA GET ANYTHING!!!I am here because half the people i know r writing blogs and i think i can do better than most of them.
I am basically a very pleasant guy you know with the usual tantrums of a very normal guy with mood swings at mega hertz rate(im also a geek).
You can expect a bit of Bill watterson and Ambrose Bierce in my blogs(I am a little ambitious).
keep coming here and do appreciate my blogs.Ill try to keep these updated cos i am as jobless as you are
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